February 16, 2009

Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy

Well... haha, I don't even know where to begin. I am here only, in Africa, living in a hut with a thatch roof. I know you all think its so crazy that I'm here, but so do I. Life here has definitely not become totally normal yet. And in fact (don't worry, I'm not going to leave, I just think about things), I wonder why I'm putting myself through this.

I am currently sitting drinking a cold soda and using internet. What is a totally normal activity for most Americans, is the most amazing treat for me! A cold beverage?! Are you kidding? It's a dream. If I were in America, I could have as many cold drinks as I want, AND eat any kind of food that I want, AND use a washing machine, etc. So I just think, what the hell am I doing here, struggling everyday, going through a rollercoaster of emotions, when I could be in America having such an easy life.

I spent my whole life always working towards the future--college, turning in my thesis, graduation, etc--never focusing on the present. And I came here thinking that I could get away from that, the only living for the next step. But, I'mhere and still doing the same thing. Only this time, its--Ok, you are suffering now, but soon everything will be great, AND THEN, think about how much more you will appreciate life when you get back home. And think how proud you will be when you finish. And it's true. But a small part of me just thinks, but is it really worth it?
And clearly the answer is yes. It is worth it. And I know that. Even though in one day I go from being ecstatic and loving life, to feeling miserable and lonely, several times over, I know that in a few months, I will have settled in a lot more, and there will be many more highs and fewer lows.

In other news, I am actually really happy and enjoying my life here. I have started working at the hospital and I really, really love it (see, my mood can change in seconds!) The people are great, so friendly and fun. On my ride home from the hospital today, I was just thinking how happy I am and how excited I am to start working full-time. It doesn't hurt either that the hospital has electricity. So during the hot season (which I'm told has already started--I think its been around 100 recently and may get as high as 130 in April and May), I can sit in the hospital and have air conditioning and cold water, which is fabulous!!

I don't have a specific job right now--I work a few days a week at the RCH clinics (reproductive and child health), where babies are screened for malnutrition and given immunization injections. I like it because I get to greet in all the languages, which, in my mind, proves to the women that I am not some random tourist, and that makes me happy. Tomorrow, I will start working at the malnutrition ward. I went through it during my hospital tour and it was really sad, so I'm not sure how well I will fare, but we'll see. So M-F, 9-2 (or basically whatever days I want to go and whatever time I want to show up) I will be at the hospital, either working at the clinic or in one of the wards. And then in the afternoons, I usually sit and chat with my family or other compounds in my village. Then around 4 or 5, I fetch water, bathe and hang out in my house until dinner, which is around 8. I've also been cooking more and more for myself, which is great.

I'm really excited to get into a routine and am pretty confident that life will be a lot easier once I do that. In fact, I am feeling much better write now than I was when I started this blog entry. I honestly cannot convey how often my emotions fly around in a day. It's crazy. Ok, well I hope everyone is loving life and doing great (CAN YOU BELIEVE ABOUT CHRIS BROWN, BTW!!) I love and miss you all!!!

1 comment:

Ki said...

Glad to hear that you are doing great! even though I complain about doing the laundry your post makes me appreciate that I can put in a load, turn on the ac, check my email while putting a "hot pocket" in the microwave. Be encouraged.